Boudaries and Fidelity

Okay so we stepped back in the cycle of the marriage cycle a bit this week. We went back to creating boundaries once married. These boundaries have to deal with fidelity in marriage, which are so very important these days. Here is an excerpt from my readings this week “ A misconception in the world today is that infidelity involves solely the commission of sexual acts outside of marriage. However, being faithful to our spouse requires much more than avoiding adultery.” “We marry with the understanding that we will give ourselves completely to our spouse and that any divergence is sin. Infidelity is defined as the opposite of faithfulness. We show our faithfulness to God by loving him with all our heart, might, mind and strength. We show fidelity to our spouse in the same ways. Indeed, our spouse is the only other things besides God who we are commanded to love with all our heart. We are commanded to love our spouse with all our heart and cleave unto none else.” In class today someone commented that a cleave is a sharp tool that we cut things down with. They pointed out that when we cleave to our spouse that sometimes there will be other relationships that will be torn apart and it may be painful for a bit but is may be necessary so that you can be faithful to your spouse. “It does not take two people for infidelity to occur. Many times affairs are committed within the mind and heart of a married individual with no other participating party. When we let our thoughts unfaithfully imagine what life would be like with another person infidelity has been committed. ”


Here are some principles that President Kimball taught, “When love wanes or dies it is often infidelity of thought or act which gave the lethal potion.” “There must be NO romantic interest, attention, dating, or flirtation of any kind with anyone outside the bounds of marriage . Even the thought of adultery is sinful.”

I think the most interesting of quotes that I found in my reading was this, “ The grass is greener … on the side of the fence you water.” It depends on how you are treating your marriage and what you are giving to it that really matters. If you are not satisfied with it then you need to change what you are doing and fix it. It is a good point to look at what you are doing to nourish it, and where you are putting all your time and energy. If it is to others or things outside the marriage then you need to reconsider your boundaries and just where your loyalties lie.

When you are married it is critical that you discuss with your spouse how you will deal with friends of the opposite sex and situations that put you with just the opposite sex dealing with work or church. It is something you should never leave to chance. The most innocent of circumstances can become problems. It is safer to have boundaries in place and follow them no matter what so that you never have to fall into those circumstances, and put your marriage at risk. It is something that you should keep treasured with all your heart. “The adversary is subtle; he is cunning, he knows that he cannot induce good men and women immediately to do major evils so he moves slyly, whispering half truths until he has his intended victims following him, and finally he clamps his chains upon them and fetters them tight, and then he laughs at their discomfiture and their misery.” “Affairs are not primarily about love, sex, or attraction, they are about boundaries; where we draw the line. Affairs are more about boundaries than anything else.” Safe guard your marriages and make boundaries that you both agree on and will faithfully follow and cleave to each other and none other. Talk out your problems with each other and no one else. Respect your spouse and do not talk about them or their flaws with your friends because that also slowly distances you. That is one of the things that irritates me the most is when women get together and talk about what their husbands do wrong and how they should be better at whatever. It is wrong and very disrespectful to the one who loves you. If you have an issue with them let them know and do not leave them in the dark.